I've finished another new clay animation ad called "Grand Hype Hotel" for Aussie House Swap.  Here's the link if you'd like to have a look.  I'd love to hear feedback and constructive criticism, if you have any.     Help me improve.  Still practicing after 25 years.  Thanks!   

Grand Hype Hotel

https://youtu.be/l0JZL5KUQKc   

Randy B

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Great!  Love how the hotel gives change!  And that quick pan around to the couple checking out works really well.

I live in Australia, but I have no idea what Aussie House Swap is.

Help you improve?  No way, you're too good already!  Oh all right, I'll watch again and see if I can see anything to criticise.

You could put in a bit more tension and release when the arm comes off... or maybe it's better not to, since that makes it more realistic, and feel more violent, which it  probably shouldn't.

well the idea is really good, the characters animation is nice too, but the fast camera turn around was not applied 100% as it should. I'm not with using blood at any level.  it needs more work on details like music, sound effects and the way of directing this short. So  in total  I think you did a really good job but it would be perfect with more work on it. 

This is brilliant haha 
I love it!

Great work as always Randy! Critique - I was a bit bothered by the stark white letters on a black background - too much contrast. Also the words were just gigantic - though if I was watching on a cell phone I guess I'd want them that big. I literally scooted my chair back to be able to read them lol! 

Thanks guys for the feedback!  The master piece is actually 40 seconds long and was created to just be a web thing, but the client decided he'd like a 30 to air on TV.  So I had to squish and tighten a whole bunch of things to make it work.  Trimmed out 5 seconds of animation and rearranged the graphics a bit to make this 30.

And Nick - I agree with the point of adding tension to the tear - AND I agree with the point that it would make it more violent.  I even considered doing a "Monty Python" blood-squirting thing, but didn't want to take the time to animate it - and that wasn't really what the bit was about.  Thanks for the comment about the zoom pan - twas a fun shot to deal with, though I had to reshoot it three times - and then in the final edit it had to be sped up a bit for timing.  I think it worked a little better at a slower pace - but a good friend of mine who is an editor thought the zoom was the best part of the whole thing.  hehe

And you'll have to keep an eye out to see if you happen to catch it on Aussie TV at some point.  And if you travel much around Australia, you might actually check out the site.

Samer - Thanks for the input.  Not sure what you mean about the zoom pan not applied as it should?  It is literally there only because I wanted to do a fun camera move to reveal their expressions.  That's all.  There was no other grand point to be made.  I'm also generally not a fan of blood and haven't really ever made much use of it in clay.  My stuff is mostly G rated - i.e. no blood just for blood's sake, but it seemed needed here, so I kept it minimal.  The music, Brandenburg Concerto #3, was simply one of Bach's popular pieces - can't really do anything to that - but I did thoroughly enjoy animating to it, since it is one of my favorites of his.  (and I did animate to it - all the characters' moves are timed to the music.)  For sound FX I wanted to add a nice bone "crunch" sound on the arm tearing effect, but after trying a few things, they all seemed to add too much violence to the humor, so I removed them and just went with the sticky tearing sound as being enough to make the point.  As far as directing, I suppose different people would do different things.  This is just my style.  I simply try to tell the story quickly and efficiently - since there really isn't much time for story expansion in an ad.  And frankly, this took a month to shoot as is.  Don't really want to spend more time on it - hehe  Thanks!

Thanks TF!  Glad you liked it.  

And thanks Strider!  You guessed it - the graphics are specifically designed with smaller screens in mind - (phones).  And when I watch it full screen on a desktop monitor, I also have to do the same thing - move back to read it.  Kinda figured it was just my aging eyes, but I'll have to keep that in mind for the next ones.  Got two more of these to do, and perhaps I can back off on the font size a bit.

Really appreciate the feedback guys!  So cool!

Thanks!

Randy B

Ha ha!! This is well funny. Great stuff !

I like it just the way it is- fun, slightly WRONG (fun), and entertains while making its point (funapalooza!)

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