Hi everyone. I haven't posted much, but I've been lurking around this site for the last five or six years, reading and learning as much as I could.

I just finished my first ever stop motion animation. Here it is, I'd love to hear what you guys think.

https://youtu.be/hgVjQJheN84

Thanks

-Jeff

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Thanks Alejandra :)


Alejandra Medina said:

The set is amazing! Very detailed, as well as your puppets. Awesome camera angles as well. I can't believe this is your first stop motion film, it's impressive. 

Thanks Strider, for all the feedback and tips, I really appreciate it.

Strider said:

Ok, I lied! 

Just can't stop picking at those nits! Actually this time I've got an idea for how to fix all the problems with the jump cut. Not that you should re-shoot, but just by way of, again, keeping ideas like this in mind for the future. 

Because I do have one other (very minor) nitpick that I caught this time. In the shot where the guard lands, the camera is positioned facing toward him and all we can see is the very edge of the wall, where the sneaker was standing - it isn't clear to us if he just stepped back. I didn't realize he was 'gone' until the next shot, where you showed the entire stretch of hall all the way back to the door where he came in. I couldn't help but think - what if you would skip that camera position and instead cut right to the next shot, or maybe just a bit higher up for a slight down view, but have the guard finish his jump - in that camera angle. That way you would accomplish 2 things - you wouldn't break the 180 degree rule, and the viewer immediately sees exactly what the guard does - the entire (empty) hallway where he (and we) expected somebody to be. 

Of course then you miss the great camera angle of the guard landing, which shows his reaction to finding nobody, but in classic continuity cutting (not that you have to use that - a lot of directors don't anymore) you would first show what he sees and then his reaction. Sorry, I'm just thinking out loud at you now. 

Strider out!! 

Thanks for checking it out Simon

Simon Tytherleigh said:

Very nice style for set and puppets, lots of lovely detail.

My comment is not about the visuals - I think Strider has covered that base - but the sound. The music is excellent for setting the atmosphere, and brings it to a close very well. The first steps are a bit loud, but then when we hear the guard speak he is loud enough to draw the audience in, so we start to empathise a bit with him. He feels too 'close' to the audience. He also starts talking in a rather English accent, then finishes sounding more North American with "Eyes playing tricks on me..etc." Maybe if he was a little more distant sonically it would help to get the sense of space?

Also I wonder if there should be some reverb in the hall. It is a medieval castle with stone walls, so would be echo-y and empty-feeling. I wonder if there should also be doe other foley sounds, such as clinking armour, creaking leather, all that sort of stuff?

The other thing I wonder about is whether the guard should react with his grunt so soon after he lands. Perhaps taking a moment to realise that the corridor is empty, before registering it with the "Uhh?"

But these are nits on the back of nits! It does look lovely.

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