http://youtu.be/k_8dNV5rXB4

Made this quickly at uni for a play, thoughts?

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It's good!

You had great words and voice acting, so you were right to keep it simple and let that carry it.  I liked the combination of the puppet character, and the simple set with 2d furniture moving in and out - seemed to fit the reality that the character was right there talking to us, but the rest is just what she was telling us about.

I didn't realise the character was older at first, I thought her own experiences of moving out of home were recent. ( It's hard to tell age with a puppet sometimes.)  So I was a little confused at first when she started to say how she wanted them out, thought she meant her parents at first, then I realised she was talking about her own kids.  Possibly I missed a key word or sentence before that, which made it perfectly clear.  Maybe I'll go back and check...

Ok, we know some time has passed, but she's still talking about her parents before she says "I want them out - all of them."   So maybe we are meant to think she is referring to her parents until the words "all of them" turn it all around?  For me it was more a moment of confusion, rather than coming across as a deliberate reveal.  But it soon became clear.  Would it help for her to say something about having kids, or would it over-explain and make it too pedestrian?   Or change to a very different set so we know it's now her house in the present, not her parents'?   Hard to say without seeing those options.

But that one point shouldn't obscure the fact that I thought it worked overall, the lip synch was good and the simple staging backed up the words really well.

Yes, I was a bit confused too .. but thoroughly loved the shorts.
The animation while simple fit the mode of the piece perfectly. As my second son is still living at home I can really relate to the theme. Brilliant ... yes brilliant. Can't wait to see more of you work. Very nice indeed.
... jbd

Thanks,

Sorry it wasn't clear, the context was given by how it fits in with the rest of the play (Basically, the performers put on shoes found in boxes and 'become' a character for their bit of speech, which are all parents talking about their kids and experiences, there's also some bits with toys for each character so the idea behind the puppet was that it's a doll which wears the shoes... it makes sense in the play, promise :) )

Chalk up a third for confusion about the age. I missed that, too, tho I take your word for it that it makes sense in context. :)

I really liked the flats sliding in and out. I thought they fit the monolog quite well and added to it. In fact, I rather think the whole set should have been done in that same style.

My only wish - and perhaps this is another context issue as well - was for a close-up or two. It seemed there were some places in the monolog where cutting closer to the puppet would have been effective. But again, not knowing the whole context of how it's shown in the play, that might not have been appropriate.

Kudos for adding some stopmo to your theatrical performance!

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